MY WIFE SAID KIDS MIGHT GET CONFUSED BY THIS BOOK. I SAID "I HOPE SO."

Dedicated to Blake,

You can’t read this.

Love,
Unrelated Sunita
& Uncle Josh

Hoppity hop!
Slithery slide.
I gulp down a carrot,
But from me do I hide?
My tongue smells fresh lettuce,
First I hiss, then I scare.
I’m my own worst enemy,
But I won’t touch a hare.

Alligato

Alligato

Sharp teeth and scales,
Whiskers and fur,
You’ll find Alligato -
Where growl meets purr.
Whether snapping at yarn,
Or scratching the rug,
We calm her down,
With a belly rub.

Sharp teeth and scales,
Whiskers and fur,
You’ll find Alligato -
Where growl meets purr.
Whether snapping at yarn,
Or scratching the rug,
We calm her down,
With a belly rub.

eMoo

eMoo

I’ve got built-in Wifi,
I flash antennae too,
Allow me to introduce myself,
Moo! The name’s eMoo.
I’m quite unlike the other cows,
In fields I illuminate,
If you couldn’t milk my radio waves,
We’d never communicate.

I’ve got built-in Wifi,
I flash antennae too,
Allow me to introduce myself,
Moo! The name’s eMoo.
I’m quite unlike the other cows,
In fields I illuminate,
If you couldn’t milk my radio waves,
We’d never communicate.

Kiltwala

Kiltwala

Aye! I knew ‘em well!
The clan from Down Under,
I’m their Scot-relative: Kiltwala,
On the Highlands I wander!
Chewing eucalyptus haggis,
Jigging-to-didgeridoo,
May nothing meant for ye,
ever go past you.

Aye! I knew ‘em well!
The clan from Down Under,
I’m their Scot-relative: Kiltwala,
On the Highlands I wander!
Chewing eucalyptus haggis,
Jigging-to-didgeridoo,
May nothing meant for ye,
ever go past you.

Trucan

Trucan

Omission, bluffs, and denial,
Dishonesty & fabrication,
Bright plumage molts from even white lies,
Feathers fall from exaggeration.
In a Latin tongue I squawk the truth,
We know where this lesson ends.
Most folks are Adversus Veritatem,
The ones that stay are friends.

Omission, bluffs, and denial,
Dishonesty & fabrication,
Bright plumage molts from even white lies,
Feathers fall from exaggeration.
In a Latin tongue I squawk the truth,
We know where this lesson ends.
Most folks are Adversus Veritatem,
The ones that stay are friends.

Wheezel

Wheezel

Ten steps feel like a thousand,
Hurdles, relays... I take a while.
My heavy dander makes me wheeze,
Don’t even think about the mile.
My inhaler’s so embarrassing,
Used it all through 100-meter.
And because I’m part weasel,
Coach thinks that I’m just a cheater.

Ten steps feel like a thousand,
Hurdles, relays... I take a while.
My heavy dander makes me wheeze,
Don’t even think about the mile.
My inhaler’s so embarrassing,
Used it all through 100-meter.
And because I’m part weasel,
Coach thinks that I’m just a cheater.

Art // Josh D. Weiss (Me)
Copy// Sunita Deshpande

Art // Josh D. Weiss (Me)
Copy// Sunita Deshpande